I will be back.

I'm still here.  Still learning to live this new life.  It's been a crazy 5 months.  I accepted a new position at a new company, and while it was probably the worst possible timing to take a new job, I needed the fresh start.  Between the new job and the boys starting school, my time for blogging has been zero.  Until I'm ready to blog again, I hope you will follow me on Instagram.  I'm still posting daily outfits and snapshots of our life, and I'd love for you to be a part of that.  You can find me on Instagram under lauschej.  See you there, and I miss this blog very much.

Thanks Gigi for being the best blog friend.

Dillon Maxwell, age 3

I've never met most of you who read my blog.  Still, I feel like over the last year and a half I have gotten to know many of of you.  Gigi was one of my first blogger friends.  I have always loved her blog, and commented there long before starting my own.  She has always been so friendly, funny and real.

When my husband Zack disappeared on May 29th, 2013, Gigi immediately encouraged her blog readers to donate money to Texas Equusearch, the nonprofit volunteer team that organized search parties for Zack.  On June 4th Zack's vehicle and body were found in a rural area north of Cincinnati.  He had taken his own life...and with his life, he has taken a part of my life...and a part of our three young sons' lives.  After the news broke, my best friend from college set up a family fund for our children.  Gigi immediately encouraged blog readers to donate to our family fund.  Amazingly, Gigi  and you, our amazing blog readers from all over the world, donated more than $2200 to the fund.

I can't thank you enough.  To put in in tangible terms: The money that you, as blog readers, raised is enough to send our 3 year old son Dillon to preschool this coming year.  Dillon probably won't remember his dad.  That breaks my heart a thousand times over.  But he will know the kindness of people whom I never met in person, because I will tell him when he is old enough about how you donated your kindness and money to help my family during this tragedy.

I will be grateful to you forever.

"Til Kingdom Come"

"Til Kingdom Come"

Steal my heart and hold my tongue.
I feel my time, my time has come.
Let me in, unlock the door.
I've never felt this way before.

The wheels just keep on turning,
The drummer begins to drum,
I don't know which way I'm going,
I don't know which way I've come.

Hold my head inside your hands,
I need someone who understands.
I need someone, someone who hears,
For you, I've waited all these years.

For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come.
Until my day, my day is done.
And say you'll come, and set me free,
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.

In your tears and in your blood,
In your fire and in your flood,
I hear you laugh, I heard you sing,
"I wouldn't change a single thing."

The wheels just keep on turning,
The drummers begin to drum,
I don't know which way I'm going,
I don't know what I've become.

For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come,
Until my days, my days are done.
Say you'll come and set me free,
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.

 

-Coldplay

Thank You

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.   There are no words to explain what my family has been through, and I can't begin to try.  My heart is broken but my spirit is strong and I am determined to see that my three little boys still experience a wonderful life.  This weekend we took a trip to Norris Lake in Tennessee with four other couples and 14 children total.  This trip had been planned since January and there was no way I could take it away from my boys with all that has already been lost.  The trip was sad and difficult, yet bittersweet and hopeful too.  It was my first time ever taking the kids on a trip by myself, and although I had all my friends there helping us a great deal, I was proud of myself for having the courage to go.  Logan and Liam don't have any experience with lake activities, and within one day both of them were swimming like fish, tubing, jet skiing, and knee boarding.  Little Dillon loved to swim around the dock area with me holding him.  I was so very proud of all of them, yet with each new accomplishment came an overwhelming wave of sadness because Zack wasn't there to see his boys.  He will miss each and every new accomplishment they achieve for the rest of their lives.  And that fact will take my breath away everyday for the rest of my life. 

Despite advice to the contrary I am not going to shut down my blog.  It will definitely change focus somewhat, but ever since I started blogging in April 2012 it has brought me a sense of happiness that I don't want to give up.  I want to share my life with you...and I hope you want to keep reading too.  It won't be updated very often at this point, but as time goes on I will hopefully get back into a routine...a "new normal" as people have told me.  Right now the thought of the future as a big picture is so overwhelming I can't think about it.  I am just taking it day by day.  Helping my boys heal and being strong for them gives me a sense of purpose and pride.  They need me more than ever...and I will never, ever let them down.

Thanks for being here.

Norris Lake with my beautiful boys

Lilly Pulitzer tunic + Banana Republic white skinny jeans

Tunic (size 2): Lilly Pulitzer, 2010
White skinny ankle jeans (size 28): Banana Repulic, here
Gold navajo wedges: Jack Rogers

Tuesday but it feels like Monday doesn't it?  I wore this outfit for a casual day with the kids over Memorial Day weekend.  I've been on the hunt for a pair of white skinny ankle jeans for a while and finally settled on this pair from Banana Republic.  I looked at the reviews online and it seems like not many people like them, most reviews claimed they run small.  I did not find this to be the case.  In fact I was prepared to size up to a 29 because tight white jeans are just no good...but the 28 fit great and the 29 was huge.  They hit right above my ankles and are not too see-through, which is always my concern with white denim.  So I guess try them on and make sure of the sizing, if you order online you may want to order 2 sizes and just return the ones that don't fit.

I'm not really a big tunic-wearer.  I love the look of them on other women but for some reason I always get a frumpy feeling in them.  Not so much with this one, which I have had for years. I always loved it but do not wear it much as I always feel like it goes from being too cold for tunics to too hot in about 5 seconds here in Cincinnati.  Memorial Day weekend here was on the cool side so it was finally the opportunity to wear it.

Do you like tunics?  How do you wear them without feeling frumpy?  Thanks for visiting!

Lindsay Sweater Dress + resort chic wedge by Lilly Pulitzer

Lindsay sweater dress in splash pink roaring stripe (size medium): Lilly Pulitzer, here
Resort chic wedge in island coral:  Lilly Pulitzer, here

Hope everyone is enjoying a long, restful weekend.  My kids are all disasters today, which always happens the day after the sitter lets them stay up late.  As I'm writing this I can hear my 3 year old downstairs whining, "Owwwwwweeeee, oweeeeee" and my husband saying "What happened? What happened?" I am assuming there is no blood or I would have been summoned, so hopefully he has it under control.  Anyway, moving on...

Hello body consciousness!  While I think this sweater dress is gorgeous for a night out, it shows off Every. Single. Curve.  I don't even own a pair of spanx of any sort, but this dress is kind of making me want to go buy some.   This dress is definitely NOT one that will come to mind during a "having a fat day" kind of day. It's more of a "Oh I was so busy I forgot to eat today" kind of dress if you know what I mean.  Ha.  It is actually really comfortable though, and I like the wide waistband.  Plus I got a good ab workout in by sucking in my gut all night.  One word on fit:  Lilly Pulitzer knit dresses that have alpha sizes notoriously run very small.  I take a size small 95% of the time, but in these knit dresses I always take a medium.  You can tell by looking at it that there is no extra room...so if you're ever ordering a Lilly knit dress in S, M, or L...size up!

This wedges look a bit orangier in the photo than IRL...I thought they matched better than this.  But next time I will go with a neutral shoe.  Both the dress and the wedges are from a local Dillard's in Cincinnati that happens to have one of the few department store Lilly Pulitzer sections in the nation.  I can always find great deals there, since Dillard's tends to mark items down much quicker than boutiques.  I was surprised to find this dress still full price on Lilly's website, when I paid around $94.00 for it.  I love feeling like I got a good deal!

Do you like sweater dresses?  Thanks for visiting!

"You look like a ladybug," Factory polka dots + exploded eyelet

Printed boatneck blouse (size small): J.Crew Factory, here
Exploded eyelet pencil skirt: J.Crew Factory, here
Garrah pump in black: Banana Republic, here

On Friday one of my favorite women in all the offices I call on said in her Venezuelan accent, "You look like a ladybug today."  I cracked up!  I totally do look like my favorite bug in this outfit, maybe that's why it appealed to me so much.  I've said this before and I will always maintain that people inadventently love polka dots, whether they know it or not.  Why is that?  Something about the contrast of the dots?  The cheeriness?  It's a mystery. 

I have gone from having very little Factory items in my closet to having quite a few over the past several months.  So many of their items have appealed to me lately, and the prices are so reasonable. Again, I am breaking my own rules by wearing this polyester top, but the material of these boatneck tops from Factory don't bother me at all.  They feel quite nice actually. This top popped back in my size a week or so ago and with the promo Factory was running I paid less than $40. 

I hope you enjoy your long weekend.  We have date night tonight but other than that I just want to be with my boys.   Lately I have realized more than ever that I need to soak it all in while they're still little.  I can't believe my oldest is 8!  I feel like time just slips away.  Thanks for reading!