Sunday, June 16, 2013

Thank You

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.   There are no words to explain what my family has been through, and I can't begin to try.  My heart is broken but my spirit is strong and I am determined to see that my three little boys still experience a wonderful life.  This weekend we took a trip to Norris Lake in Tennessee with four other couples and 14 children total.  This trip had been planned since January and there was no way I could take it away from my boys with all that has already been lost.  The trip was sad and difficult, yet bittersweet and hopeful too.  It was my first time ever taking the kids on a trip by myself, and although I had all my friends there helping us a great deal, I was proud of myself for having the courage to go.  Logan and Liam don't have any experience with lake activities, and within one day both of them were swimming like fish, tubing, jet skiing, and knee boarding.  Little Dillon loved to swim around the dock area with me holding him.  I was so very proud of all of them, yet with each new accomplishment came an overwhelming wave of sadness because Zack wasn't there to see his boys.  He will miss each and every new accomplishment they achieve for the rest of their lives.  And that fact will take my breath away everyday for the rest of my life. 

Despite advice to the contrary I am not going to shut down my blog.  It will definitely change focus somewhat, but ever since I started blogging in April 2012 it has brought me a sense of happiness that I don't want to give up.  I want to share my life with you...and I hope you want to keep reading too.  It won't be updated very often at this point, but as time goes on I will hopefully get back into a routine...a "new normal" as people have told me.  Right now the thought of the future as a big picture is so overwhelming I can't think about it.  I am just taking it day by day.  Helping my boys heal and being strong for them gives me a sense of purpose and pride.  They need me more than ever...and I will never, ever let them down.

Thanks for being here.

Norris Lake with my beautiful boys

74 comments:

  1. So sorry for your loss. As a mother of three boys myself I admire your strength and wish nothing but the best for your family. Peace and love.

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  2. Jeannie-I'm so sorry your loss. Your strength for yourself and your boys is inspiring, to say the least. Please know you are all in my thoughts and prayers. Sending you a big virtual hug.

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  3. I am definitely praying for you, daily.

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  4. Sending you much love and strength for the days, months and years ahead. Sounds like you are already on the right path to healing. Though it's all about your Boys now, don't forget to take care of you too.

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  5. Keeping you and your boys in my prayers.... You need time to heal... make sure that you are taking care of you.. so you can take care of your boys for many years to come. God bless

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  6. You're in my prayers, and I'm thrilled to hear that I can still look forward to posts with your beautiful smile and great outfits!

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  7. Sending you all the positive vibes in the world.

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  8. You will continue to be a strong and beautiful woman and mother. Admiring your courage from AZ.

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  9. Wishing you all the best - take care of yourself and your boys! Will say some prayers for you.

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  10. Sending you lots of love! Your boys are darling and you're a great mom.

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  11. I have been praying for you and thinking about you and your family ever since I heard your sad news. I'm so happy to see you at the lake with smiles. Whatever direction you want to go with your blog I for one will be happy to come along for the ride. Sending hugs!

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  12. Jeannie, glad you are hanging in with us! Loy's of love and prayers. None of us can know what you are and have gone through, but I know that you and the boys will come out the other side. Peace to you during this terrible time. Wendy

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  13. Sending you and your boys much love and hugs. Thinking of you and keeping you guys in my prayers. Stay strong.

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  14. Thinking of you and your family, daily, with prayers. You will always be in my thoughts. My dad raised my brother and I by himself, so I know how hard it is. Many hugs to you.

    I love the photo of you with your boys, what a beautiful shot!

    I will definitely be along for the ride, so make the blog whatever works for you!

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  15. Jeannie, you are a true inspiration. My heart breaks for your loss, and I will look forward to learning from you as you journey onward. All the best thoughts and wishes for you and your family.

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  16. Jeannie, you don't know me, but you inspire me with every photo. I love the color and your stunning smile. I pray that the color will return to your life, and that you will find reasons to smile in the days ahead. Your strength and bravery in ensuring your boys enjoy their life is admirable. I will pray that you continue to feel strong and brave, and that you will be supported by your friends and family in this, and by the virtual community you have built.

    Wendii

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  17. sending you peace, love and strength.

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  18. I have long enjoyed your blog but have never commented before. I have been thinking of you often, my heart breaking for you and your children. Seeing you writing again is truly inspiring. Please know that even total strangers are sending you hugs and positive thoughts.

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  19. Jeannie, your spirit, determination and absolute love for your darling sons brings tears to my eyes - you are a strong woman and I admire you very much. I have no words for what you are going through, I can only imagine the gamut of emotions that you are faced with on a daily basis. I have been praying for you and your family daily, and wish peace and a beautiful life for you and your boys. You have our support, and thank you for allowing us in on your journey. xoxo

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  20. Jeannie, I can't imagine what you are going through, but you and your beautiful family have been in my thoughts daily. I'm so inspired by the strength you are offering to you boys and hope each day brings with it a tiny bit of peace. I will of course continue to read your posts and think it will be a good way to give yourself a little break. What a beautiful picture too!

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  21. Lurker here sending you continued strength. I think it's a beautiful thing you went on the trip and your boys are lucky to have such a resilient and loving mom. I'm glad you plan to continue blogging. You have inspired me to add more color to my outfits and to take more risks.I wish you all good things for you and your boys. I too have a boy with ADHD and a language disorder (not dyslexia though) who is close in age to yours and I am cheering you on as you navigate this path. Thank you for welcoming us back. Make this blog whatever you want and need it to be, but I am hoping you will still share some outfits with us!

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  22. Jeannie, I am in awe of your strength and courage. Your family's ordeal touched my heart. Please know that people you've never met continue to hope and pray for the four of you.

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  23. Jeannie, I was just thinking of you and your boys a few minutes ago, hoping you were doing okay. glad to read an update and I'm praying for you and your family daily. Wishing you the best - and always have a free shoulder/open ear in case you need someone to talk/yell/cry/scream at.
    Lots of love, Laura

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  24. I feel like I can finally breath now that I have read an update from you. I am moved by your strength and your smile. Keep going for your family and for yourself! We will be here to support you.

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  25. I am amazed by your personal strength, Jeannie. You'll be in my thoughts.

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  26. What a beautiful family! Your boys are so fortunate to have a mum strong enough to put them first.

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  27. Jeannie, I am very glad you have chosen to not shut down the blog. I have been heart broken for you and your little guys. You have amazing strength and I know your boys will be ok. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself and your boys!

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  28. Jeannie I've been thinking of you and praying for you and the boys every day and I will continue to do so, your courage is so inspiring and I admire your spirit for your boys and the bravery you are showing.
    I am so happy you will continue writing here. God bless you and your beautiful boys!

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  29. Jeannie, so happy to see you in the swing of life, what enormous courage and love for your children! Keep on blogging, you are an example to all of us on what to do when life gives us an unexpected punch.

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  30. Jeannie,

    As the others have already said, you have amazing courage and strength. I hope that you know that you have many supporters who you have connected with on this blog who are thinking about you and praying for you and your family.

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  31. I had no idea until I saw this post-I am praying right now for you and your sweet boys, for rest and healing and "the peace that passes all understanding". I don't know you (except for your blog), but your lovely spirit shines through the blog. Your blog community loves you, so continue to share what's on your heart, so we can support and pray for you.

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  32. Wishing and praying for healing and strength for all of you, Jeannie.

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  33. I am so thankful to hear you and the boys experienced a few days of joy and new adventures, even in the midst of sadness. May each day bring you a little closer to that new normal and healing. Even on dark days, know that many are thinking of you and your dear sons. It is so good to see the sunshine and smiles in that photo!

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  34. Elizabeth MerkelJune 17, 2013 at 9:17 AM

    My heart aches for you. I am certainly praying for strength and peace for you and your family. I just saw this comment thread on Momastery's facebook page about books for kids dealing with the loss of a parent and thought you might want to look through it.

    https://www.facebook.com/momastery/posts/10151644504164710

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  35. Jeannie, I am so glad that you have updated us. Can I just tell you that I am completely inspired by your determination and so happy that you will keep sharing a peek into your life with us? I will be praying for you and your precious boys. God bless you and keep you.

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  36. You absolutely rock!! Way to go! My heart goes out to you and your boys, and I pray God brings you strength every day.

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  37. You are such a strong, brave woman. It takes a courageous person to overcome such a tragedy, and I am glad you are focusing on your beautiful boys and helping them through this. Give them all you can give them, and turn them into great men. You can do it. You are an inspiration.

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  38. Oh Jeannie, you are so strong and amazing and such a wonderful mom! I am relieved that you are not shutting down your blog - hopefully it will continue to be a source of happiness for you. I continue to think about you and your boys daily. The unimaginable has happened to you, and yet there you are, smiling with your boys on a trip, keeping up your blog, and taking the time to fill us in on your feelings, plans, and trip. I don't think very many people would respond as you have - it says so much about your personality and character. I'll be here reading whatever you do decide to post on your blog.

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  39. I'm so very sorry for your loss Jeannie. Sending you love and prayers for much strength and support.

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  40. What a beautiful post (and photo). I've been keeping your family in my prayers. It's so nice that your family was able to enjoy a few days of peace. Your kind spirit shines through all of your posts, and in particular this one. I'm glad to see that you'll continue blogging, I've never commented before but I'm a big fan. Xoxo

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  41. Jeannie,

    I think you are so very brave to continue with the 'new normal'. I applaud you and your boys for taking time to have some fun just to let your mind rest from thinking of the tragic event. I am a mom of two boys, so I empathize with you on being strong for them. I love that picture of you and your boys.

    You blog as much or as little as you want. It's your blog and you do what you like with it. I will continue to read it no matter how often you update it.

    Time and grace will help you and your boys heal. I hope for the best for you and your family. I'm glad your spirit is strong and true and brave.

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  42. Wishing you continued courage.

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  43. You and your boys are in my prayers daily. Since discovering your blog, I have always admired your smile, your dedication to family (which shows in many of your family pics), and of course your undeniable and dynamic fashion sense. Your blog always makes me smile, and is one of the many cherished moments during my morning coffee. But now I have something else to admire, and that's your strength and courage in the face of adversity. That beautiful smile is still there, and your boys will learn one of the greatest of life's lessons from their Mother.

    Not every single one of us on God's good earth knows how to be courageous and to carry on, but you show us that. You inspire those that have fallen on tough times that life not only goes on--but that life is good, and to be grateful for what we have, what we've had, and for what's to come. You have given some of your courage to us, as I now think of you as one of the strongest women I know. Well, sort of know all the way in the middle of the Pacific. God bless and all the best to you and your wonderful family!

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  44. I've been thinking of you and you have been in my prayers and will continue to be. I will read along here as you make this space whatever you wish it to be...I admire your strength and grace and spirit. Wishing you and the boys all the best.

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  45. Happy to hear from you and see you. I look forward to your future posts as I consider you "a friend in my head" as they say.

    Best wishes and thanks for this post.

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  46. I can't even imagine the pain your family is going through. I'm glad you're keeping your head up and embracing your "new normal"- you are such a strong woman and your boys are so lucky to be able to call you their mother. *HUGS*

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  47. You are an inspiration. Sending much love your way!

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  48. Your positive spirit drew me to your blot and no matter the focus of the blog I will be back for more of that. So happy to get an update from you as I have been thinking of your boys and you.

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  49. Jeannie, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers! Sending you lots of love!!

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  50. Jeannie, I do hope you keep blogging. But either way, please know that you and your boys will continue in our thoughts and prayers. God bless.

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  51. Jeannie, you've been in my thoughts the past few weeks, and I am glad to hear that you will continue writing and blogging. You seem like such a lovely woman with a kind spirit. Your boys are lucky to have you! Best wishes.

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  52. Jeannie, you and your family have been in my thoughts and prayers. I am amazed and inspired by your strength and courage, and your boys are very fortunate to have you as their mom. Thank you for sharing an update with us. :)

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  53. Whew, call me selfish, but I'm glad to hear you will keep writing. It will be cathartic, even if you are only sharing the latest outfit success. You've been on my mind so much, as though you are family. And...well...in my online community...you definitely are.

    ((huggies))
    Gigi

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  54. I am amzed by your strength and resiliance and you and youre boys are in my thoughts.
    Youre boys can be proud to have such a mom!

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  55. You are an inspiration! I think your approach of taking things day by day for now is a good one. Hang in there, you will get through this! I'm also glad you are not shutting down your blog!

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  56. Thoughts and prayers for you all...(((HUGS)))

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  57. blogging can be a lifeline- thinking of you and praying for strength.

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  58. I have been thinking of you and praying for you and your family. I'm glad to hear that you will continue to blog - in whatever capacity that may be. You clearly have a huge online support system and I look forward to reading about you and your future endeavors. What a beautiful family picture! Thanks for sharing - despite all of the heartache and pain you have a lot to look forward to raising your beautiful boys.

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  59. Jeannie, I was so glad to see your post update come up on my reader sidebar. I wanted to email you to offer words of support, but also didn't want to overstep my boundaries during a difficult time like this. You and your beautiful boys have been in my thoughts constantly, and even though I rarely pray, I have prayed for strength and resilience for your family. I hope this means my prayers were heard and answered. Nothing I say can make things better, but I want to offer my most sincere wishes and prayers. Much much love and good energy is being sent your way, and may each day get a little easier.

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  60. Sending much love to you and your family Jeannie. Time and grace.

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  61. Coming out of lurkdom to tell you how very, very sorry I am for your loss. Love and prayers from New Mexico.

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  62. If your photograph isn't evidence of answered prayers, I don't know what is. Please do not underestimate the fact that your attention to keeping up appearances will literally help you to heal. Your emotional state can be altered by the everyday acts of grooming and dressing well. Oddly if the reflection in the mirror brings a smile to your face, that simple pleasure can work to renew your emotional state and causing others to react naturally and warmly to you.
    Please keep up the good work outside, so that the healing may happen inside. Much love and strength to you and your boys. May the boys keep you running and laughing. May the tidal wave of overwhelming emotions have passed over you, leaving only the ripples of soft, sweet memories and reflection in its wake.

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  63. Jeannie,
    What beautiful, true and heartfelt words. I am so proud of you and am here for you always.
    xo

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  64. Hi Jeannie,

    As I read your words,I could do nothing but admire the strengh you have and what that means to your boys. They truly have a mother that is resilent, powerful, and nuturing all at the same time. I will continue to pray for you and your family. I also look forward to whenver you decided to post.

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  65. Lots of prayers to you and your boys Jeannie

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  66. Hello, Jeannie,

    I discovered your blog over a year ago (we share the same passion for J Crew and Anthro) and I love seeing your bargain finds and how you wear them. You always dress with such poise and style, which I try to squeeze into my lifestyle while raising my 2 and 1 year old, both who we adopted last year. In fact, I wore the Anthropology marbled waters shift dress for their first baptism, and bought it online with confidence after seeing you wearing it! It was the perfect dress, and I will wear it again this year for a summer beach wedding. Thank you for your blog!

    You truly are an inspiration for your family, friends, and the people that follow your blog. You have a beautiful family, and no words can describe how I feel for your great loss...I am so so sorry. Sometimes we don't understand why certain things happen the way they do, but from experience, I find healing can come when we are open to a plan bigger than ourselves. You are a beautiful, strong, resilent mom, inside and out! You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. Diana from Virginia.

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  67. Sending you love.

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  68. You are such an amazing mother and woman. You and your boys are in my prayers every day. Sending you love.

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  69. It's so beautiful to see you and your boys smiling in this summer sunshine together. Thanks for continuing to share with us.
    -Sarah

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  70. So sorry to hear about your loss.
    Whenever you are ready to return to blogging, your readers will be here for you.
    Sending love your way,
    Laura

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  72. Big hugs to you and your boys! I cannot imagine your pain. I pray for peace for you and your family!

    Best wishes!

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