What does it mean to be a mother who loves fashion?



Photo courtesy of J.Crew

I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be a mother who also holds a high regard for fashion and style.  I will admit to worrying at times that others look upon in disdain at we women who have children yet also still enjoy "making an effort."  Is it selfish to want to spend money on frivolious items like the coveted dress or a fabulous pair of heels when you have children to support?  Is it vapid to worry about the latest trends when you should be worrying about raising your children?  Some would argue yes, it is.  And while everyone is entitled to her own opinion, this reasoning really makes me sad. 

My boys are the greatest loves in my life.   There is nothing I would rather stare at than their precious faces, no sound I would rather hear than their sweet voices. Of course I put my children's needs above my own, but I can't deny a love, and a passion, for all things beautiful; clothing, products, home decor.  That passion has actually grown stronger in my 30's, as I continue to develop a deeper appreciation for high quality fabrics and design.  But yet the confidence I've gained as I've grown older can still waver when I notice a true or imagined glare from another mom.  I'm accustomed to being the most dressed-up mom wherever I am, playground, school drop off, soccer practice.  Some of that is due to the fact I work.  But most of it is that many moms simply would rather wear yoga pants and a hoodie than dress up. That's their choice, and that's fine with me. But sometimes I feel like the outcast for not making that choice, for wanting to look nice.  We always hear about "mommy wars" and I believe this is a true one.  Women are so competitive, we're always looking out for who's better than whom.  Who's the better mommy?  And does it make one a better mother to not focus at all on herself?  To give every aspect of her being to her children, and then wake up in 10 or 15 years and wonder, who am I now? 


This is such a fascinating topic to me, and while you know which side of the fence I am on, I truly do not believe their is a one-size-fits-all answer.  Like many aspects of motherhood, I believe it's whatever works for you.  Putting on a pretty dress, even if just to run errands or go to the park, works for me.  I get that it doesn't work for every mom.  But can we try to judge each other less, and perhaps act a little kinder?  We're all doing the hardest job in the world-raising children.  I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.  I actually had quite a challenge putting my thoughts and feelings into words for this post, and it's a surprisingly emotional topic!  I'd love to hear from you!  Thanks for visiting.